When elected as Cuyahoga County Executive, I will take effective steps to divert all the millions of County sales taxes in the MED CON fund, and with that cash have the Cleveland and Cuyahoga Port Authority purchase/bond and operate resorts in the Caribbean. (NOTE: The statutes which created the Port Authority allow the Authority to invest in foreign lands. )
Every County Citizen will be comped for an all expenses paid Caribbean TWO week vacation. In order to efficiently utilize the resort properties which the County will own, each citizen will be required to rotate his vacation – one year in the winter, next year in the summer.
Getting every citizen out of NEO for a cool vacation will lead to tremendous GROWTH AND JOBS here in NEO.
NO VACATION MONEY WILL LEAVE NEO: since every County citizen will be able to go on a great vacation for zip, all the money which citizens now spend for their vacations in France, Israel, Argentina, and Geauga County, and Sandusky will stay right here in Cuyahoga County!
The next huge benefit will be an improvement in attitude: every citizen will really believe they are getting something for their taxes.
Psychologically there will be improvements as well – citizens who suffer from SAD [1] can obtain a doctor’s note so all their vacation time is in the winter. No reason to go to the Mayo Clinic.
Content NEO citizens will talk to their friends in North Dakota, and the Dakotas will be empty within about three days. Everyone in the Dakotas will move to Cleveland.
Real estate values will skyrocket.
Those of us who haven’t moved out of Clevehoga will finally get the chance because we can sell our houses. But we won’t sell them because the rental market for housing will be HOT HOT HOT..
Jimmy Buffett will be made an honorary Cuyahoga County Citizen and instead of Ingenuity Fest Cleveland will become Margarita Ville on Steroids. [2] Mr. Buffett, being an experienced real-world businessperson, will convince the Rock and Roll Hall of fame Board Members to convert the place into a huge glass topped lounge where every Cuyahoga citizen returning from the Caribbean can go hang and de-compress after returning from the Islands.
The AA would be provided space in the Hall too, so some work will still get done in the County.
In closing, I would appreciate everyone’s support of my candidacy – and I promise:
THIS ROUND’S ON ME!
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