The "Battle of Life" was a poem that a girl in my 8th grade class wrote. The poem got passed around and it was pretty deep for a 14 year old girl to be writing and beyond mature for her youthful age. At the time, it went over my head a bit. In retrospect, that young girl was ages beyond her peers.
By fourteen, she had obviously experimented with sex, drugs, and alcohol. I can remember her bringing "fuzzy navels" to gym class on Fridays. I recall it stinking and all the "in crowd" hurrying off to the bathrooms to "have some" . She always wore too much make up and they called her pumpkin face.
Of course, she loved to bully folks herself. . . Even brought scissors to school on the last day to "cut my hair".... but luckily one of her "insiders" had the wherewithall to "snitch her out" before it was "too late".
When I think about the sense of love and security that I knew at home (despite our family's trials & tribulations); I actually feel bad for her. Back then, I dealt with her venomous crap daily. I loved school and enjoyed excelling in my course work. So, her failing grades and chronic disruptions to our class work really made enjoying school frustrating that year. She was always throwing a fit, causing a ruckous, or picking on someone. She was a pretty big girl in 8th grade and threw her weight around intimidating the other kids. Every time you turned around there was a distraction to the classwork.
Now I am a mom and I pray to prevent my child from being surrounded by kids that don't have an appreciation for their education. She loves learning now and is eager to do well. Yet, I am starting to hear the stories about school that are simply making me question things...
Parenthood is such an amazing experience. It can be scary sometimes... and then again everyday is full of priceless blessings. I know them well and keep trying to do my best amidst the challenges.
I keep reminding my child that it's okay to agree to disagree and everyone is allowed to have an opinion. I remind her that not everyone has to like something because she does. I also teach her to respect differences and appreciate the good in folks. She's an amazing child and I am totally appreciative that God Blessed me with her...
As she grows into her own little person, I pray that she will never hurt others and that she is always considerate. I pray that when others attempt to be mean to her, that she responds with the grace of a queen. She's seen her share of heartache (Lost her grandma who spoiled her rotten at 4 and her dad at 7....)
Anyhow, tonight I am counting my blessings and going to bed and hugging my baby girl tight! LIfe is too short to keep working to improve a city that has marathons left to run in order to truly be something positive for families....
Despite my blessings; I realize that the stresses of caring about a community that is out of control and of living in a city full of pollution, corruption, and constant turmoil is taking years off of my life. Since life is a battle; I know in the depths of my soul that it's time to move away and enjoy fresh air and family away from here.
It's spring time and she cannot even ride her bike down the street....too dangerous. While Spring Fever runs through her veins, her frustration with living on lockdown because I worry so much about her even playing out in the front yard is disrupting her childhood.
I want to hear her childhood laughter across a meadow as she runs and plays with her friends. I want to see her laugh until she cries because life is good. I want to feel safe and happy that life is not chronically being disrupted by the chaos of the world outside our family. So, I know I must change the venue all the same.
I cannot wait until school is over this year...I think I am going to take her to the country!
God does not promise tomorrows.