WHAT TO DO ABOUT NEWSPAPERS BEFORE THEY DIE

In a discussion on Friday’s Dick Feagler TV show, Plain Dealer editor Susan Goldberg mentioned the possibility that newspapers might drop Monday and Tuesday editions, starting the week with Wednesday when they have ads, usually from the supermarkets.

I’ve thought of that too.

But what happens to the Browns game scores in the winter? You mean no all-Monday Browns front page if they win, of course. Wouldn’t that turn off all the tailgaters and Sunday boozers who need some details of what they saw on Sunday?

Actually, and I hate to say this, the Plain Dealer might experiment with an all-sports Monday paper. Oh, you’d have some of the news of the day but it would be in one or two paragraph shorts tucked somewhere on Page 2 or 10. The Cavs and Indians would also provide fodder for a Monday Sports Newspaper other times of the year.

I mean the whole staff could be turn out to do sports stories. Coverage from the previous day’s scoring, features on weird fans, lies about sports heroes, a bit of everything. Maybe even tell us what politician or civic leader was sitting in whose luxury loges. I don’t think we’re getting the kind of coverage we really want to read out of the regular sports pages.

Then you might arm-twist the sports teams into doing some advertising. Since the newspaper provides them with free, enviable and unlimited publicity for their businesses every day of the week. I have never understood why the newspapers give them all this free publicity. I know they think that it sells papers but I’m willing to bet it doesn’t sell that many.

You might even have Tuesday as a business issues newspaper, rather than the skimpy non-news that makes up most of that day’s news diet. What’s happening in our corporate businesses and legal offices should make wonderful fodder for a newspaper. Again, the whole staff out there working the streets.

On Wednesday you could put out the food newspaper with all the food, restaurant, and supermarket and associated ads. Recipes, restaurant reviews, lots more stuff than in the meager food pages now, but much more interesting with the whole staff producing for all of us who eat. That’s a lot of us.

Thursday, the newspaper might provide something of what they are supposed to give the community – a newspaper devoted to real government stories. I know how the editors really don’t think government interests people. Traditional news readers, however, hunger here more than the food section.

Friday would be for movies and entertainment. All the bullshit that goes regularly in the week’s news can be crammed in here.

Saturday, hell I don’t know but there must be something. Oh yeah, the arts and books. Maybe this would produce some ads for those readers that like to buy that stuff.

Sunday could be for high brow stuff that hasn’t been covered during the week. And columns. All the crummy columns would appear on Sunday because most of them during the week are too boring to bring in many readers.

That is my top-of-the-head advice for Susan Goldberg and the Plain Dealer.

A newspaper as no other.