Brainwashing and Black eyes go time...with a good support network.

Submitted by ANGELnWard14 on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 13:05.

It's not nice to abuse others....It's not nice to attempt to control others or to assault them with negative words. But sometimes, it is necessary to defend against an abusive person to protect one's own life. It's an ugly process...and it's difficult...but it can be endured and survived...Prayers to all the victims of abusers around the globe! May God Bless.

One aspect of emotional abuse is that it eventually brainwashes the victim.


1. The brainwasher keeps the victim unaware of what is going on and what changes are taking place.

Your partner might control your finances, make plans for you, or not tell you what his plans are until the last minute.  He may talk about you to others behind your back, to isolate you from them.

2. The brainwasher controls the victim's time and physical environment, and works to suppress much of the victim's old behavior.  The victim is slowly, or abruptly, isolated from all supportive persons except the brainwasher.

Your partner might have insisted that you stop certain social, hobby, or work activities.  You might have gotten moved to a new location, farther away from your family and friends.  Or you may have been asked (or told) to reduce or stop contact with specific supportive people in your life.

3. The brainwasher creates in the victim a sense of powerlessness, fear, and dependency.

Verbal and emotional abuse creates these emotions, and they become stronger and stronger over time.

4. The brainwasher works to instill new behavior and attitudes in the victim.

Your partner trains to you behave in ways that he wants you to behave.  He gradually makes you feel differently about yourself, and erodes your confidence in yourself.

5. The brainwasher puts forth a closed system of logic, and allows no real input or criticism.

In other words -- What he says, goes.

An abusive person will railroad discussions, so that you don't have time to think about what's right and what's wrong in their behavior.

Take a moment to consider these questions.  The person might have behaved as though these things were okay, even though it's obvious that they aren't okay...:

Do you feel that you can't discuss with the person what is bothering you?

Does this person frequently criticize you, humiliate you, or undermine your self-esteem?

Does this person ridicule you for expressing yourself?

Does this person isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does this limit your access to work, money or material resources? 

Has this person ever stolen from you?  Or run up debts for you to handle? 

Does this person swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close? 

Have you ever felt obligated to do things, just to avoid an argument about it?

Do you sometimes feel trapped in the relationship?

Has this person ever thrown away your belongings, destroyed objects or threatened pets?

Are you afraid of this person?

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