Bottled Mahoning River water, anyone?

Submitted by Susan Miller on Tue, 02/06/2007 - 10:51.




Maybe we should see if we could make a buck (or more likely a statement) selling Cuyahoga River cocktails or Lake Erie highballs. If the idea is that enough alcohol will eliminate the need to address our water quality issues, then the folks who have the money to address these issues ought to be happy to swill away on these high powered drinks.  Add enough absinthe and sugar to some Cuyahoga River water and you've got a drink that we might call the Ohio Obliterator. Drink this and forget the Clean Water Act ever happened...

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Burning River Fail Ail

This is a great idea... I think we should bottle up some of the river water as a gift to community leaders. Hell, let's pour it all over them and see if they melt, or sue us for attack with a deadly weapon.

I was talking yesterday to the small batch brewmaster at Great Lakes Brewery (GLB) about the water used in their beer, which is from our great, wasted lake. They super filter it before they use it so it is certainly safer to drink Great Lakes beer than our Great Lakes water. As I live near the GLB, and my tap water tastes evil, I asked the brewmaster if he had noticed how awful Cleveland water in our area has been lately and he said the first thing he does every day when he comes into work is taste the water, and some days it is so off that they do not serve water at GLB nor do they make beer with the water.

We know our river and lake water is so toxic we shouldn't even eat fish from there - or swim there - but is our Cleveland-sourced tap water even safe? Such disgraces and doubts are a major reasons our economy and society are failing in Oho.

Disrupt IT

south of the lakeshore

    This makes me think of the visits south of the border to Mexico when I still drank alcohol and local water was not an option for a tourista, so beer was the answer.
where's the lime???

It also brings to mind the Jimmy Buffet quote "and what you don't drink, we'll pour on you." Jimmy still lives in Key West, FL home to Margaritaville, Disney cruise ships, free range chickens, Hemingway house and gay rights, but he has cleaned up his act and no longer consumes margaritas or beer or cocaine. Fresh water has always been an issue on the tiny island. Maybe that's why drinking alcohol is such a prevalent past time.
(All this surfing for beach images has me homesick...)

    Restaurants south of the lakeshore in Northeast Ohio that prefer to sell other pricier beverages could test the water daily and ask patrons, "Would you like some Lake Erie water with your meal or something else? Today's tap water features chlorine, fluoride, assorted sewage, ____, _____, _____ (whatever other chemicals)." Having worked in restaurants, I know how restaurateurs prefer to sell beverages instead of pouring out copious amounts of tap water. At Stone Oven, the display of buyables lead with bottled drinks and everyone knows that alcohol sales hold together the bottom line for eateries.

In Toronto, where they have enacted major public awareness campaigns to improve their water quality, they use this ad, and this one among others.