When is the last time you saw a job application like this?

CAREER POSITION  

 CONSTRUCTION LABORER

We are an

Unequal Opportunity Employer

Prerequisites:  No experience required - but must have evidence of felony criminal record, drug use/dependence, alcoholism, slight mental illness or slight antisocial demeanor, poor attendance, poor hygiene, workman’s compensation claims, or some other reason no legitimate profit oriented liability shy business would hire you. (still debating whether or not a name needs to be provided.  Some may need to work anonymously).

Concealed Carry:  Sorry, no weapons allowed on job site. Everyone must pass through the mobile metal detector before beginning work. Please hide your weapon off the jobsite before you arrive.  If you must bring weapons – or drugs or drink - to work, you must check them in our locker system which is located in the outside wall of the “chuck wagon”.   You will get the key to the locker – similar to a bus depot locker system.

Salary:  About minimum wage – which when possible will have a  small piece work component.  The piece work will be available when the job is conducive to such a scheme.  For example, if we are cleaning bricks from a building take down,  you will be paid a per brick rate.   Pay will be in cash paid daily.   Or, you can opt to receive you pay weekly and receive a 10% premium.  You may opt to have your pay directly deposited.  We are open to consideration of other innovative pay arrangements.      

Benefits:  No Benefits.  No holidays, no vacation, no sick time, no personal time, no pension, no expense account, no car.  Rapid transit day pass to return to work second day, etc. Chuck wagon will provide free coffee/bagels and a hot meal at lunch.  Medical van/social worker will be available daily.  Cloth cloves and protective eyewear provided. We will strive to provide each and everyone with a sense that they accomplished something of value each day.

Advancement:  Make my day.  We will be constantly on the look out for individuals who are reliable and can do more.  We will be looking for inventory control (brick piece work counters who don’t cheat) cooks and crew for the chuck wagon, instructors to teach the newcomers,  crew forepersons, scouts looking for new job opportunities, you name it. But our ultimate goal is to get you out of the program completely – but then again, maybe into management and expansion of the program.

What you do for us:  We are a non-profit public works job corps similar to the WPA or the CCC (job corps back in the US depression days). You will be helping rebuild Cleveland by cleaning used bricks, planting hedges, fixing cracked sidewalks, picking up trash, painting, splitting firewood, repairing pallets, hoeing weeds, raking leaves, and other outside light  labor jobs.  Work will be at ground level, there will be no climbing,  no use of ladders, no power tools or engine driven equipment.  Every job we do will be done the hard way – the old fashioned way – by hand.  Any products (like cleaned brick) will be sold on the open market or used in public projects. Money received will be used to supplement operational funds.

What we do for you:  We provide on-demand walk-on employment for anyone – men and women - in any condition.  If you can physically get onto the job site, we will occupy you doing some menial task.  If you are physically weak we will strive to get you a chore which is less tasking – if you are a young healthy bull, you’ll get a heavier hammer.  We are trying to take you off the street and give you a little self esteem boost and a little money.  We are not kidding ourselves about what our success rate will be.

Work environment:  All work will be outdoors at all times – winter summer spring and fall.  Dress appropriately.  Days with blazing hot sun, really rainy or windy,  we’ll put up sheltering tarps (open sided) over/next to our work area.   Portable toilets will be on site. In the winter months we will have a nice hot wood stove on site.  Think of it as working at a camp site in the city. Although employees will not be put in an interior environment, they may often be working in the public view. Work crews will generally avoid residential areas and concentrate in commercial and industrial areas.   A civil public demeanor will be required.  If you are laying down drunk or too high, or urinating in public – you will be cautioned, your further pay suspended, and you will be discouraged from the job site. With regard to cell phone use on work site – if you can afford to keep a cell phone service, you probably aren’t our typical hire.

Liability/workman’s compensation:  This is a societal “chicken and egg” thing.  If we base employment eligibility on being clean of drug/alcohol, we will not be able to engage the employees in the labor niche we are after.   This will lead to that niche remaining underground, off the labor statistics radar, and more apt to be in black market and illegal income activities.  It is our intention to employ the conventionally “ineligible” in a sincere effort to allow those people to transition into the conventional job market.  We are trying to employ one part of society which isn’t usually eligible for employment at all. But we don’t want to be  vulnerable to lawsuits because of our unconventional approach. Because we do no drug testing or alcohol testing prior to employment, the employer needs to be shielded from   accident liability related to drugs or alcohol etc.  Therefore, you agree that any accident you have on the job will be reported immediately, and that upon such report you will take a blood test immediately.  If the test shows a compromised physical condition, you agree to waive workman’s compensation and any other action against the employer.  For our part, we will diligently take all reasonable actions to maintain your safety on the job.  We are seeking statewide legislative protections for this scheme.  These protections can be similar to those liability shields which states (Massachusetts has such legislation) provide to doctors, nurses, and good Samaritans and others who willingly expose themselves to liability while volunteering at a crash scene, or in a emergency. 

Web Site:  All employees are eligible (but are not required) to have their photo and any personal information they wish to include posted on the company’s web site.  .  If you wish,  each employee’s work record – attendance, production, job skills, will be posted.  This is important because if you wish to seek another job at a later time – anywhere in the world, the web site will confirm to your prospective new employer your record with us.

Using donated PCs located in weather resistant niches in the outside of the chuck wagon, on site training will be provided to teach you how to access and use the internet. We will have a wifi cloud operated from satellite connected internet because we want to encourage the hip public to also use the chuck wagon for coffee and lunch (they will pay) and intermingle with our employees to see how the other half is living.  We intend for intermingling with the public to help improve esprit décor all around. We will have a wifi cloud operated from satellite connected internet

All financial records of the company will be public and on the web site.  A record of daily activities of the company will be posted for viewing by anyone.

Time Clock:  All employees will be paid from their time card  record. (maybe we will use an electronic palm scan to clock in and out so there will not be cheating.  You can clock in and out anytime you want, but when you are “on the clock” you will be expected to be working.  If we get the impression that you have clocked in and aren’t taking work seriously, we will discourage you from returning. This is an opportunity to produce, not an opportunity to milk the system. If you don’t think you are being paid enough, go get another job which you find does.

Work-green ethic:    Whenever possible,  solar panels on the “chuck wagon” will be used to charge battery operated radio, lighting or hand tools (like Makita – which will be cabled down so it can’t be stolen).  We will also have a small wind turbine on the Chuck Wagon just for show, because generally we will want to park the chuck wagon out of the wind. 

Certain weight intensive tasks (like loading a wheelbarrow full of bricks up onto a truck bed or into a dumpster) will use solar powered winches or lifting contraptions.  These will be operated only by approved personnel.   

GOOD LUCK!