I’ve got a bridge to sell you. Cheap. Just send along a big check. We’ll tell you how helpful it was some time in the future.

Mayor Frank Jackson and City Council are ready to give $1.1 million to Nehst Studios to help finance three movies the company expects to make in just over a year, according to a piece by Jay Miller of Crain’s Cleveland Business. It’s a loan that will allow Nehst to arrange $11 million in financing.

(PLEASE, CITY OFFICIALS, SAVE THIS $1.1 MILLION AND SEND SOMEONE OVER TO THE CASINO WHEN IT’S BUILT. BET IT ON SOMETHING. MAKES BETTER BUSINESS SENSE.)

I wonder who at City Hall has the expertise to invest more than a million bucks on some Hollywood (made in Cleveland) movies. Oh, hell, details, details.

The film, Miller writes, will also benefit from $7 million in Ohio tax credits.

Hey, let’s find some more goodies for these guys. I’m sure that Cuyahoga County will chip in with some Arts and Culture money.

Miller doesn’t cite a source of the city funds. They were voted out of the Council’s economic development committee. I suspect it comes from UDAG repayments. These are subsidies given, usually at no interest and for up to 20 years before they are repaid, by the city via federal funds. When repaid they go back to the city.

Since most of these funds were used for downtown projects – such as Tower City and the Key Center and Marriott Hotel for our friends the Ratners and Dick Jacobs – the funds should be used for Cleveland’s neighborhoods.

But they’ll be going to this New York film company, which now also has offices in the Cleveland Convention Center. Rent free, of course. With option to renew. Hilarious.

Here’s a bit about the film company:  

http://nehst.com/_media/_pdf/ClevelandBootcamp.pdf

And all you Clevelanders lining up for parts in these Cleveland-produced movies bring cash:

http://www.cleveland.com/movies/index.ssf/2010/01/nehst_studios_web_site_asks_so.html

Desperate people do dumb things.